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Status Messages - funny

Collection of funny status messages for WhatsApp & Facebook. Latest funny status messages. Best funny Status collection. Best status messages

Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
Facebook Twitter
Better late than never, but never late is better.
Facebook Twitter
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
Facebook Twitter
I'm cool but Summer made me hot!
Facebook Twitter
Tags Cool  Funny  Hot  
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
Facebook Twitter
Don't let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see…& don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.
Facebook Twitter
Tags let  ears  witness  eyes  mouth  speak  feel  funny  clever whatsapp messages  
Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
Facebook Twitter
Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
Facebook Twitter
Tags Funny  
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
Facebook Twitter
.ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
Facebook Twitter
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).
Facebook Twitter
God grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I will not read.
Facebook Twitter
Tags Grant  God  Funny  
God is really creative, I mean...just look at me.
Facebook Twitter
Tags Creative  God  Funny  
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes.
Facebook Twitter
Tags coke  pepsi  me  sexy  rivers  lakes  funny  clever whatsapp messages  
Hey there Whatsapp is using me.
Facebook Twitter
Tags whatsapp  funny  
I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
Facebook Twitter
Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
Facebook Twitter
I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
Facebook Twitter
I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
Facebook Twitter
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Facebook Twitter
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Facebook Twitter
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Facebook Twitter
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Facebook Twitter
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Facebook Twitter
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Facebook Twitter
I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
Facebook Twitter
I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
Facebook Twitter
I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
Facebook Twitter
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Facebook Twitter
I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Facebook Twitter
I wish I had "Google" in my mind and "Antivirus" in my heart...
Facebook Twitter
Tags wish  cool  funny  
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Facebook Twitter
In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Facebook Twitter
It's Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
Facebook Twitter
It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.
Facebook Twitter
Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I though
Facebook Twitter
Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
Facebook Twitter
Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
Facebook Twitter
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Facebook Twitter
May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
Facebook Twitter
Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
Facebook Twitter
Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
Facebook Twitter
Life is too short. Don't waste it reading my status...
Facebook Twitter
Tags Cool  Funny  
No I didn't trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Facebook Twitter
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
Facebook Twitter
Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
Facebook Twitter
People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Facebook Twitter
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
Facebook Twitter
Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
Facebook Twitter
Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
Facebook Twitter
Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
Facebook Twitter
Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
Facebook Twitter
Taking revenge is wrong…very very wrong.. But very very fun.
Facebook Twitter
Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
Facebook Twitter
The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
Facebook Twitter
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
Facebook Twitter
The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Facebook Twitter
That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
Facebook Twitter
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
Facebook Twitter
The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
Facebook Twitter
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Facebook Twitter
They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
Facebook Twitter
Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
Facebook Twitter
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
Facebook Twitter
Whatsapp: the only book teens read these days.
Facebook Twitter
When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
Facebook Twitter
When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
Facebook Twitter
When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
Facebook Twitter
When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
Facebook Twitter
Why is "Monday" so far from "Friday" and "Friday" so near to "Monday"??..
Facebook Twitter
Tags cool  funny  monday  
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
Facebook Twitter
You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee
Facebook Twitter