Status Messages - funny

Collection of funny status messages for WhatsApp & Facebook. Latest funny status messages. Best funny Status collection. Best status messages

funny Status Messages
Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
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funny Status Messages
Better late than never, but never late is better.
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funny Status Messages
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
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cool Status Messages
I'm cool but Summer made me hot!
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Tags Cool  Funny  Hot  
funny Status Messages
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
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funny Status Messages
Don't let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see…& don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.
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Tags let  ears  witness  eyes  mouth  speak  feel  funny  clever whatsapp messages  
funny Status Messages
Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
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funny Status Messages
Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
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Tags Funny  
funny Status Messages
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
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funny Status Messages
.ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
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funny Status Messages
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).
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funny Status Messages
God grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I will not read.
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Tags Grant  God  Funny  
funny Status Messages
God is really creative, I mean...just look at me.
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Tags Creative  God  Funny  
funny Status Messages
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes.
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Tags coke  pepsi  me  sexy  rivers  lakes  funny  clever whatsapp messages  
funny Status Messages
Hey there Whatsapp is using me.
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Tags whatsapp  funny  
funny Status Messages
I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
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funny Status Messages
Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
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funny Status Messages
I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
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funny Status Messages
I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
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funny Status Messages
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Facebook Twitter
funny Status Messages
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Facebook Twitter
funny Status Messages
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
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funny Status Messages
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
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funny Status Messages
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
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funny Status Messages
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Facebook Twitter
funny Status Messages
I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
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funny Status Messages
I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
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funny Status Messages
I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
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funny Status Messages
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
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funny Status Messages
I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
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cool Status Messages
I wish I had "Google" in my mind and "Antivirus" in my heart...
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Tags wish  cool  funny  
funny Status Messages
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
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funny Status Messages
In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
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funny Status Messages
It's Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
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funny Status Messages
It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.
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funny Status Messages
Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I though
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funny Status Messages
Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
Facebook Twitter
funny Status Messages
Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
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funny Status Messages
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Facebook Twitter
funny Status Messages
May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
Facebook Twitter
funny Status Messages
Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
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birthday Status Messages
Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
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cool Status Messages
Life is too short. Don't waste it reading my status...
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Tags Cool  Funny  
funny Status Messages
No I didn't trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
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funny Status Messages
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
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funny Status Messages
Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
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funny Status Messages
People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
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funny Status Messages
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
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funny Status Messages
Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
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funny Status Messages
Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
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funny Status Messages
Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
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funny Status Messages
Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
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funny Status Messages
Taking revenge is wrong…very very wrong.. But very very fun.
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funny Status Messages
Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
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funny Status Messages
The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
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funny Status Messages
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
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funny Status Messages
The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
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funny Status Messages
That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
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funny Status Messages
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
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funny Status Messages
The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
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funny Status Messages
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
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funny Status Messages
They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
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funny Status Messages
Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
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funny Status Messages
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
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funny Status Messages
Whatsapp: the only book teens read these days.
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funny Status Messages
When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
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funny Status Messages
When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
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funny Status Messages
When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
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funny Status Messages
When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
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cool Status Messages
Why is "Monday" so far from "Friday" and "Friday" so near to "Monday"??..
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Tags cool  funny  monday  
funny Status Messages
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
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funny Status Messages
You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee
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